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So here it is... The Mafia Vs Ninja interview. Well, sort of. We'll be updating it as any members add their 2 cents, and also as you send in questions, which has never been easier! Just fill in yr name and question in the below form and send it! We'll do the rest! Fuckin bingo!
All questions from ‘My God Can Beat Up Your God’ fanzine unless otherwise stated...

Note: At the minute the name bit on the form aint workin, so if ya wanna be credited for yr question then add yr name in the other box...

Yo Name Punk:


1: So whats the story with Tricky leaving, Monkey leaving, and Tricky re-joining?

BeatUp:I left not long after we started doing gigs, probably mid 2001, cuz I thought the band was bullshit. Not exactly, but I was in Homebrew at the time, and working nights at a pub a lot, so I didn’t have a great deal of time, plus we weren’t sounding like I thought we should sound, and we weren’t being what I wanted us to be (Mr Ego strikes...) anyway, and I was also buggereing off to Portsmouth, so ended up leaving the band. Not sure exactly the whole story about Potter leaving - I was either in Portsmouth or going through my ‘extasy phase’ - so I’ll leave that to someone else to explain. When I moved back to Thirsk I got hanging out alot (re: drinking a lot) with Nobby and we discussed startin a band, with Timmy too. It never really came about though, and seen as Monkey had gone and they was looking for a new singer for MvsN, I think it was them who got me back in...
Shrimp: Trick was a boy, then a girl, and now he's a boy again. Monkey went coconuts.
Mr Dead: As you well know, Beatup went to join/form/work a comedy circus darn sarf. We didn't want Monkey out of the band, but the blood kept flowing - we got banned from The Coach & Eight in Durham & The landlord at the Horseshoe cut our set; so it wasn't really the impression we wanted to generate. Things came to a head and like most puss filled spots the shit had to pop! We forced Beatup to move back into Mafia HQ because we needed someone to pick on, bully and laugh at (not with) - how could he refuse!?! Plus, no one else was either brave or stupid enough to fill Monkey's boots. Rumour has it Beatup only moved back to Thirsk City™ to try and worm his way back in the band anyway, cos he was missing us so much - soppy git.

2: Thirsks always had a lot of things going on, so what other bands where you in, and what about fanzines, films, gig promotions, etc have you been invloved with?

Mr Dead: I used to be in band called Section 34 back in tha day with The Deadly Shrimp, and me playing drums no less - I couldn’t play em then and I can’t play em now - the only song I remember is “Speed Geek”, we were shit hot. I auditioned for the Write Offs, but realised I didn’t wanna be in some second rate lame assed ska punk band. I’ve helped out on numerous occasions on Small Sailor - the punk rock fanzine for gay sailor men. I’ve been doing Flame Squad promos, The Deadly Shrimp being a partner in crime and Disco 4:20 being the resident web-toed DJ mixmaster, since 2000 helping to put Thirsk and the Loud Nelson in the ‘punk rock essential places to play guide” and we’ve had shite loads of great (and not so great) bands play over the years. Shrimp and myself used to make home made films (no, not those type) ages ago (we will return to your screens one day!) and created such cinema gold classics as “The Paper Bag Man I & II”, “The Paperbag Man Remix”, “The Paper Bag Man and Friends”, “Hungerford 17 & 19” and “Slow Rot” to name a few. We keep vowing to return with an awesome epic, but so far nothing has materialised because we’re always too fucked up. We have a big chunk of a new script and plenty of ideas though for a newey!
BeatUp: Band wise I’ve been in a few, mostly bullshit ones you’ll not have heard of (or want to), but I was in The Write Offs which was a fucking awsome time, and I sung for the best looking band in punk rock - Homebrew for quite a while too. I used to do a zine called ‘My God Can Beat Up your God’ for a while which I’m always toying with resurecting (perhaps under the name ‘ZineCancer’). I'm Disco 4:20, Thirsk premier DJ, and I had a small stint puttin on gigs in the Dingles under the guise 'The Ghost Of Owen Hart'. I also wrestled for T.U.P.W which was cool as fuck, I’m a 5 time champion... And if that weren't enough I'm 'Employee of the month/ General Manager' of Thirsks number one record shop 'Rhythm Collision'.

3: A question inspired by the late/great GG Allin - With whom would you most like to ‘Drink, Fight & Fuck’?

BeatUp: Drink with? Dunno... Probably ‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin... Failing that my mates are always a laugh... Fight? I’d have to go for George W. Bush or his little girlfriend Tony Blair. And Fuck? Its gotta be Beyonce from Destinys Child, or Winona Ryder.
Shrimp: Ed Wood/ Busted/ Theresa May
Mr Dead: Erm... Drink: Bill Hicks would’ve been cool, but he’s dead, so I’d have to settle with... Chris Ackabusky (is that how yer spell it?) - he’s a crazy guy. Fight: either Terry Christian, Paul Daniels or John Prescott or all three at the same time - bring it on! Fuck: bloody hell, there’s loads! Rachel Stevens’d get it; Pornstars are fly; failing that a couple of horny young lesbos (not mingers though) would do just fine.

4: (supplier unknow) Hi chaps,have stumbled across your web site while wasting time away at police H.Q.!! I recognise some of the faces. So,what inspires you to get out of bed on a morning apart from the sack?

BeatUp: To quote Sticky fingaz “Everyday is a gift, thats why they call it the present”. For the first time in a long time my life pretty much totally rocks, I love doing stuff with MvsN, I love my friends, and I love my girl. The world is a horrible fucked up place full of evil bullshit, but if ya can see the beauty in it then you’ve got is sussed. That didn’t really answer the quetion did it? Er, country music.

5: (supplier unknow) i've heard from a member in your band that Aaron fancies his sister! is this true?

BeatUp: What kind of bullshit question is this? I’m from Thirsk, we’re all inbreds... Wouldn’t it be more wrong not to?

6: (supplier unknow) The Pie eyed guitarist? Apart from havin Pie eyes, drinkin loads a booze does he actually like pies? And what about the rest of the band, what are your fave pies??

BeatUp: My fave pie? Shit, that’s a toughie. Probably pootang pie. Or a wu-tang pie. Or one of them Linda McCartney ones.

7: (supplier unknow) When are you going to play the north-east 'proper' again? Your Durham gigs were great

BeatUp: What do you mean ‘proper’? Hopefully more local gigs are on the agenda, just keep checking the gig listings bit (i know I never update it enough, but I lead a very busy life - ha! Like shite I do). Alternatively, why not put us on yourself, or at least go to yr local venue and pester them till they put us on.

8: (By: Jamie!) so then the new year arrives and mafia prepare a return to the studio in hartlepool (thank god was begging to get withdrawl symptoms) i was woundering is there any new shit and just generally wat is it like in an mvn practice???

BeatUp: Yeah we got plenty new shit since we last played in Monkey-hanging country, whether we play it or not is a different thing. MvN praccys usually run like this: We all meet up about a hour late, whinge that we dont wanna go and would prefer to sit at Timmys and drink beer, then we'll go up to the warehouse where we praccy, setting up sucks and our equipment is too heavy to carry. Then we'll blast through a coupla old numbers to get us in the mood, try workin on a new one, then get drunk and stoned and it all goes to the dogs. We'll call it off and go to the pub. Its all glamour kids, all glamour.

"I'm through with being made a fool by all your fucking scheming"